How you choose your goals may be more important than the goals themselves.
Generally, we set "do" goals.
I am going to:
1. Be on time to class
2. Exercise more
3. Get on a diet
For the sake of ease, we used examples of exercise and health, but the same will generally apply for personal and work goals as well. All the models were things that we need to do; be on time, exercise, and eat better.
What happens if we flip the script?
Instead of "do" goals, what if we set "who" goals?
Instead of planning goals based on what we are going to do, we could plan goals based on whom we want to become.
Then you can use the "who" to drive the "do."
Here's an example.
I want to be a disciplined athlete.
Now are "do" goals must align with the "who."
As an athlete that wants to be more disciplined, I will:
1. Eat better
2. Be receptive to coaching
3. Work my hardest every day.
Let's try another one:
I want to be a spouse that listens and supports:
As a spouse that wants to hear and support my significant other I will:
1. Be 100% present
2. Listen without responding
3. Do my best to my significant other in all endeavors
Why does the order matter? Why can't we just set "do" goals?
Think of the "who" as the light tower in the distance and the "do" as the ship sailing. The "who" will help guide your ship, the "do" in the right direction.
A lot like my favorite quote from Lewis Carroll; "If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there," without the guiding light of whom you want to become, any old "do" will and won't work.
Figure out whom you want to become and then take action to transform.